Grumpy Old Sod Dot Com - an internet voice for the exasperated. Sick of the nanny state? Pissed off with politicians? Annoyed by newspapers? Irate with the internet? Tell us about it!

Send us an email
Go back
11th September 2013: The world's gone mad and I'm the only one who knows
13th August 2013: Black is white. Fact. End of.
11th August 2013: Electric cars, not as green as they're painted?
18th June 2013: Wrinklies unite, you have nothing to lose but your walking frames!
17th May 2013: Some actual FACTS about climate change (for a change) from actual scientists ...
10th May 2013: An article about that poison gas, carbon dioxide, and other scientific facts (not) ...
10th May 2013: We need to see past the sex and look at the crimes: is justice being served?
8th May 2013: So, who would you trust to treat your haemorrhoids, Theresa May?
8th May 2013: Why should citizens in the 21st Century fear the law so much?
30th April 2013: What the GOS says today, the rest of the world realises tomorrow ...
30th April 2013: You couldn't make it up, could you? Luckily you don't need to ...
29th April 2013: a vote for NONE OF THE ABOVE, because THE ABOVE are crap ...
28th April 2013: what goes around, comes around?
19th April 2013: everyone's a victim these days ...
10th April 2013: Thatcher is dead; long live Thatcher!
8th April 2013: Poor people are such a nuisance. Just give them loads of money and they'll go away ...
26th March 2013: Censorship is alive and well and coming for you ...
25th March 2013: Just do your job properly, is that too much to ask?
25th March 2013: So, what do you think caused your heterosexuality?
20th March 2013: Feminists - puritans, hypocrites or just plain stupid?
18th March 2013: How Nazi Germany paved the way for modern governance?
13th March 2013: Time we all grew up and lived in the real world ...
12th March 2013: Hindenburg crash mystery solved? - don't you believe it!
6th March 2013: Is this the real GOS?
5th March 2013: All that's wrong with taxes
25th February 2013: The self-seeking MP who is trying to bring Britain down ...
24th February 2013: Why can't newspapers just tell the truth?
22nd February 2013: Trial by jury - a radical proposal
13th February 2013: A little verse for two very old people ...
6th February 2013: It's not us after all, it's worms
6th February 2013: Now here's a powerful argument FOR gay marriage ...
4th February 2013: There's no such thing as equality because we're not all the same ...
28th January 2013: Global Warming isn't over - IT'S HIDING!
25th January 2013: Global Warmers: mad, bad and dangerous to know ...
25th January 2013: Bullying ego-trippers, not animal lovers ...
19th January 2013: We STILL haven't got our heads straight about gays ...
16th January 2013: Bullying ego-trippers, not animal lovers ...
11th January 2013: What it's like being English ...
7th January 2013: Bleat, bleat, if it saves the life of just one child ...
7th January 2013: How best to put it? 'Up yours, Argentina'?
7th January 2013: Chucking even more of other people's money around ...
6th January 2013: Chucking other people's money around ...
30th December 2012: The BBC is just crap, basically ...
30th December 2012: We mourn the passing of a genuine Grumpy Old Sod ...
30th December 2012: How an official body sets out to ruin Christmas ...
16th December 2012: Why should we pardon Alan Turing when he did nothing wrong?
15th December 2012: When will social workers face up to their REAL responsibility?
15th December 2012: Unfair trading by a firm in Bognor Regis ...
14th December 2012: Now the company that sells your data is pretending to act as watchdog ...
7th December 2012: There's a war between cars and bikes, apparently, and  most of us never noticed!
26th November 2012: The bottom line - social workers are just plain stupid ...
20th November 2012: So, David Eyke was right all along, then?
15th November 2012: MPs don't mind dishing it out, but when it's them in the firing line ...
14th November 2012: The BBC has a policy, it seems, about which truths it wants to tell ...
12th November 2012: Big Brother, coming to a school near you ...
9th November 2012: Yet another celebrity who thinks, like Jimmy Saville, that he can behave just as he likes because he's famous ...
5th November 2012: Whose roads are they, anyway? After all, we paid for them ...
7th May 2012: How politicians could end droughts at a stroke if they chose ...
6th May 2012: The BBC, still determined to keep us in a fog of ignorance ...
2nd May 2012: A sense of proportion lacking?
24th April 2012: Told you so, told you so, told you so ...
15th April 2012: Aah, sweet ickle polar bears in danger, aah ...
15th April 2012: An open letter to Anglian Water ...
30th March 2012: Now they want to cure us if we don't believe their lies ...
28th February 2012: Just how useful is a degree? Not very.
27th February 2012: ... so many ways to die ...
15th February 2012: DO go to Jamaica because you definitely WON'T get murdered with a machete. Ms Fox says so ...
31st January 2012: We don't make anything any more
27th January 2012: There's always a word for it, they say, and if there isn't we'll invent one
26th January 2012: Literary criticism on GOS? How posh!
12th December 2011: Plain speaking by a scientist about the global warming fraud
9th December 2011: Who trusts scientists? Apart from the BBC, of course?
7th December 2011: All in all, not a good week for British justice ...
9th November 2011: Well what d'you know, the law really IS a bit of an ass ...

 

 
Captain Grumpy's bedtime reading. You can buy them too, if you think you're grumpy enough!
More Grumpy Old Sods on the net

 

 
Older stuff
 

 

 

 

 

 

 
Isn't it nice to know that in this busy, distressed world there are still people who find time for the really important things?
 
Never mind the global financial crisis, never mind climate change and rising sea levels, never mind Islamic fundamentalism and the threat of international terrorism, never mind pollution, never mind the starving millions in Africa, never mind the surveillance society and the extinction of free speech in Europe, never mind speed cameras and traffic wardens and fines for dropping a fag end in the street because you're not allowed to smoke in the pub, never mind obesity and vicious incompetence in the NHS, never mind teenage pregnancies and the rising tide of an underclass that breeds and eats and uses up resources and contributes nothing …
 
Never mind all that! In little pockets of reason, here and there, nestling like fragile buds amid the folded leaves of society and shining out like tiny beacons of sense and spirituality, there are people with an exalted purpose, people who keep the flame of art and literature and music burning …
 
The American avant-garde composer and well-known idiot John Cage died in 1992 - and not a moment too soon, if you ask us. His works included 4'33" which, as the title suggests, lasts four minutes and thirty-three seconds and is totally silent; pieces for "prepared piano" - basically an ordinary piano with various objects fixed on or through the strings; a quartet using "a muted piano, a suspended cymbal, and two variable-speed turntables on which single-frequency radio test records were played at various steady speeds and also sliding between speeds in siren-like glissandos"; and pieces based on the I Ching in which the notes to be played are chosen entirely at random.
 
Another composer, Mike Batt (the creator of the Wombles music) was once forced to pay a six-figure sum of money to Cage's publishers because he also wrote a silent piece of music - and they sued for plagiarism.
 
In the Church of St.Burchardi in Halberstadt, Germany, they are currently performing Cage's composition entitled Organ˛/ASLSP (As SLow aS Possible). Written in 1987, original performances lasted between 20 and 70 minutes depending on the patience of the performers and what time the pub shut - Cage omitted to explain just what he meant by "slow".
 
The piece is for the organ, and at Halberstadt they are using an organ built specifically for this performance. The performance began in 2001, and by 2005 the organ only had six pipes - presumably all the piece needed at that stage. Because, obviously, the instrument sounds constantly, there is a cube of acrylic glass around it in case anyone actually hears the music. It's a secret, apparently.
 
The first chord lasted three years. The second (A above middle C, C above middle C and the F# above that) began on January 5, 2006 and will conclude on July 5, 2012. It isn't necessary for someone to actually sit at the organ playing all that time (though one wouldn't put it past them). Instead, weights placed on the keys keep the notes sounding until it's time to move to another note.
 
The performance is planned to continue until September 5, 2640, having lasted 639 years. That'll teach John Cage, all right!
 
That is, it'll last 639 years if there isn't a power cut. Or if the world doesn't end. Or Global Warming.
 
Always provided someone can be arsed to keep the stupid thing going, of course …
 

 
The GOS says: There's even a website for the project here. I couldn't be bothered to look, but if there's a "contact us" button you could send them a rude message.
 
If you've got time, that is.
 

 
Grumpy Old Sod.com - homepage
 

 
Use this Yahoo Search box to find more grumpy places,
either on this site or on the World Wide Web.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
Copyright © 2009 The GOS
 
This site created and maintained by PlainSite
Grumpy Old Sod.com - homepage

 

Captain Grumpy's
Favourites
- some older posts

 
Campaign
 
Proposal
 
Burglars
 
Defence
 
ID cards
 
Old folk
 
Hairy man
 
Democracy
 
Mud
 
The NHS
 
Violence
 
Effluent
 
Respect
 
Litter
 
Weapons
 
The church
 
Blame
 
Parenting
 
Paedophiles
 
The Pope
 
Punishing
 
Racism
 
Scientists
 
Smoking
 
Stupidity
 
Swimming
 
Envirocrap
 
Spying